Cartoons & Info-tainment. This Week's Topic, Marijuana Legalized, Hippie Days Are Here Again

Satire of Marijuana Prohibition

Disclaimer: I am NOT in favor of anyone getting hooked on drugs, or becoming obsessed with, nor addicted to, anything that inhibits or destroys their rational faculties, or makes them a danger to themselves and/or others. I would like to see more people get “high” on exercise, B-12 shots, filling their lungs with air, laughing and loving, as well as seeking to fill their brains with interesting, captivating, exhilarating books, music and art (not that being a collector of books, music, art, or knick knacks cannot also become an addiction that ruins a personʼs life *sigh* anything can become addictive, like the internet for instance).

That being said, read on at your own risk… of being info-tained.

Only a Designer would have had the infinite wisdom to create euphoric and hallucinogenic plants, like the coca (from whose dried leaves we get cocaine), the poppy (from which we get heroin), the hemp plant (from which we get marijuana and hashish), magic mushrooms, and even catnip for cats. (A cat that has rolled around in a field of catnip will stagger into the house and miss the litter box.) I guess that makes God the undisputed KING of illegal drug manufacturing.

Iʼve never heard a reason that rang true why marijuana is against the law. Have you ever heard one reason that rang true? It grows everywhere, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake. Like He looked down on the seventh day and said, “There is my creation, perfect and holy in all ways. Now I can rest…Oh Me…I left pot everywhere. Man, I should never have smoked that joint on the third day. If I leave pot everywhere itʼll give people the impression theyʼre supposed to use it. Shit. Now I have to create Republicans.” So you see, itʼs a vicious cycle.

Bill Hicks (comedian)

Man made beer. But God made marijuana. Who you gonna trust?

Bumper Sticker

A Government-commissioned panel of experts reported last week that there had been “an explosion of new scientific knowledge” on the medical uses of marijuana. The chemicals in marijuana, they concluded, can fight the nausea induced by chemotherapy, boost the appetites of AIDS patients and ameliorate some symptoms of multiple sclerosis. The report was no news to me. I had reached the same conclusions as a cancer patient, seven years ago.

Richard Brookhiser, “Opinion: A Drug War Against the Sick,” The National Review (a pro-Republican conservative magazine)

Many of us suffering from MS spasticity (painful permanent muscle cramps or else shaking) are in great need of marijuana inhalers like the inhalers for asthma. There is no prescription medicine for spasticity that is anywhere near as harmless and effective as marijuana. My neurologist would prescribe marijuana for me if it were legal to do so.

Kathryn Lindskoog (author of C. S. Lewis: Mere Christian)

Dear Congressperson,
I am writing you today to urge your support for the revival of the American Hemp Industry in our state. Hemp, otherwise known as Cannabis Sativa L. has been cultivated by humans for over 10,000 years and continues to be grown in many industrial nations including Canada, England, France, Germany, Thailand, China and Hungary. Hemp was grown by our founding fathers and used for textiles (the first American flag was made from hemp), paper (the first draft of the Constitution was written on hemp paper) and the hemp seed was the mainstay of the colonial diet and provided lamp oil. The original diesel engine as well as todayʼs models can run on pure hemp oil, and hemp oil could be used to produce plastics and synthetic fibers, reducing our reliance on fossil fuels for their production. Hemp oil can be used as a base for paints and inks as well as an industrial lubricant. Hemp is the strongest natural fiber (three times as strong as cotton) and can be grown without harmful pesticides and herbicides. Breeding techniques have yielded industrial hemp strains that contain virtually no THC (the psychoactive chemical in marijuana), eliminating any potential drug value. Farmers stand to gain access to a crop with excellent profit potential (current paper pulp prices would net $200 profit per acre) that will not degrade their valuable topsoil. We as a nation stand to gain an abundant fiber and oil source while protecting what is left of our forests. Our forests provide much more of a service than simple beauty and recreation. They are a habitat to millions of creatures and also serve as the lungs for our planet. There is no doubt that deforestation must end very soon and we think hemp is the answer.

Citizen (Sign Your Name Here)
Rasa, The Pelorian Press

An Israeli/American drug company called Pharmos, has developed a marijuana-derived nerve-preserving medication which is well on its way to market. This new synthetic cannabinoid, dexanabinol, has been shown to reliably forestall permanent nerve damage in lab animals subjected to cerebral stroke and surgical shock, and is undergoing human trials now in Israeli hospitals.

“We have found that cannabinoids are very powerful anti-oxidants,” emphasized Dr. Aidan Hampson, a biologist on the project, for reporters. “In fact they appear to be more powerful than vitamin C or vitamin E.” Health-food fanciers, who incessantly glorify the “life-extending” and “tissue-preserving” properties of dietary anti-oxidants like vitamins and melatonin, may be startled to learn that cannabis can do the same sort of thing, only better. And since, unlike vitamins, THC and CBD readily enter the brain after ingestion, they can be of unique importance in preventing damage to the central nervous system. “We have something that passes the blood-brain barrier,” noted Dr. Hampson, “has low toxicity and appears to be working in animal trials—so I think we have a chance.”

In cases of cerebral stroke or concussion, when the brainʼs oxygen supply is cut off by an obstruction of blood circulation, nerve-cell death is caused by the release of toxic glutamate in the brain; but cannabinoids, if theyʼre administered within about an hour of the trauma, can prevent this cell “necrosis” by arresting the action of glutamate in critical nerve-cell receptor sites. In the same way, conclude the NIMH researchers, cannabinoids are likely to be useful in preventively forestalling progressive, oxidation-mediated brain diseases like Parkinsonʼs and Alzheimerʼs syndromes. Dr. Axelrod also considers cannabinoids promising for the treatment of meningitis; and both arthritis and AIDS dementia are oxidative neurological conditions, involving an inflammatory body chemical called TNF-a, “tumor necrosis factor alpha,” which is known to be suppressed by cannabinoids.

Dean Latimer, High Times Web News Crew, filed 6/8/98

Who knows? Maybe the powerful antioxidants in marijuana will one day be added to vitamin pills?

Johnnyʼs Mom (speaking to her son at the breakfast table): “Donʼt forget to take your marijuana pill, son, so you can grow up to be big and strong like your brother Billy.”

Johnny(half an hour after swallowing the pill): “Got another box of Wheaties, Mom? I just finished the first two.”

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