Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

The World Beyond Your Head, quotations from Matthew B. Crawford

The World Beyond Your Head, quotations from Matthew B. Crawford

“In a culture saturated with technologies for appropriating our attention, our interior mental lives are laid bare as a resource to be harvested by others.”

“The advent of hyperpalatable mental stimuli… raises the question of whether the ascetic spirit required for education has a chance. The content of our education forms us, through the application of cultivated powers of concentration to studies that arenʼt immediately gratifying. We therefore had to wonder whether the diversity of human possibilities was being collapsed into a mental monoculture — one that can more easily be harvested by mechanized means.”

“…we need other people to achieve individuality. For others to play this role for me, they have to be available to me in an unmediated way, not via a representation that is tailored to my psychic comfort…”

“When [our shared spaces] are saturated with mass media, our attention is appropriated in such a way that the Public—an abstraction—comes to stand in for concrete others, and it becomes harder for us to show up for one another as individuals.”
— Matthew B. Crawford, The World Beyond Your Head: On Becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction

In one of the most entertaining and illuminating chapters in the book, Crawford critically interprets the Disney Channelʼs popular childrenʼs program “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.” In earlier iterations of the show, back in the middle decades of the 20th century, the show entertained kids with slapstick and acrobatics in which beloved Disney characters (Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck) interacted (sometimes a little violently) with a recalcitrant physical world.

In our time the show has been radically re-imagined. Computer animation now places the characters in a virtual world in which any conceivable problem they confront is easily solved by a computer (the Handy Dandy machine) that is instantly summoned at any time and place. “Oh, Tootles!” Mickey and his friends exclaim, and up pops a screen, providing ready-made solutions perfectly tailored to any random obstacle or frustration that temporarily stands in the way of achieving their goal in a given episode.

In Crawfordʼs telling, this is our world — or at least the world our culture is scrambling to create. Itʼs one in which there will supposedly be “no conflict between self and world” and “no contingency that hasnʼt been anticipated by the Handy Dandy machine” in our home, in our workplace, in our car, in our pocket or purse.

Further Quotations from Crawford

“The satisfactions of manifesting oneself concretely in the world through manual competence have been known to make a man quiet and easy. They seem to relieve him of the felt need to offer chattering interpretations of himself to vindicate his worth. He can simply point: the building stands, the car now runs, the lights are on. Boasting is what a boy does, because he has no real effect in the world. But the tradesman must reckon with the infallible judgment of reality, where oneʼs failures or shortcomings cannot be interpreted away. His well-founded pride is far from the gratuitous “self-esteem” that educators would impart to students, as though by magic.”
— Matthew B. Crawford, Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work

“Weʼre not as free and independent as we thought. Street-level work that disrupts the infrastructure (the sewer system below or the electrical grid above) brings our shared dependence into view. People may inhabit very different worlds even in the same city, according to their wealth or poverty. Yet we all live in the same physical reality, ultimately, and owe a common debt to the world.”
— Matthew B. Crawford, Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work

“Once upon a time, our problem was guilt: the feeling that you have made a mistake, with reference to something forbidden. This was felt as a stain on oneʼs character. Ehrenberg suggests the dichotomy of the forbidden and the allowed has been replaced with an axis of the possible and the impossible. The question that hovers over your character is no longer that of how good you are, but of how capable you are, where capacity is measured in something like kilowatt hours—the raw capacity to make things happen. With this shift comes a new pathology. The affliction of guilt has given way to weariness—weariness with the vague and unending project of having to become oneʼs fullest self. We call this depression.”
— Matthew B. Crawford

Christians or Non-Christians Who Suffer Depression or Attempt Suicide. What We All Have In Common.

Christians or Non-Christians Who Suffer Depression

Duke University Medical Centerʼs Epidemiologic Catchment Area survey (Meador, Koenig, Hughes, Turnbull & George, 1992) examined the relationship between religious affiliation and major depression. The six-month prevalence of major depression among Pentecostals was 5.4 percent compared to 1.7 percent for the entire sample.


Suicide occurs among Christians at essentially the same rate as non-Christians… Suicide kills a disproportionate number of young people and the elderly, and it has become increasingly prevalent among returning veterans [many of whom are Christians]. More active duty soldiers now die from suicide than from combat. A 2012 Dept. of Veterans Affairs study found that 22 veterans on average kill themselves each day, totaling more than 8,000 a year. Al Hsu, “When Suicide Strikes in the Body of Christ,” Christianity Today [online, April 9, 2013] Hsu is the author of Grieving a Suicide: A Loved Oneʼs Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope (InterVarsity Press, 2002)


Jarrid Wilson, cofounder of Anthem of Hope a Christian mental health organization, committed suicide at the age of thirty (died September 9, 2019). He was a graduate of Liberty University and Hope International University, pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship--a megachurch in Riverside California, and author of several books, including, 30 Words: A Devotional for the Rest of Us; Jesus Swagger: Break Free from Poser Christianity; Wondrous Pursuit: Daily Encounters with an Almighty God; Love is Oxygen: How God Can Give You Life and Change Your World. On the day of his suicide Jarrid had officiated at another Christian's funeral and tweeted this:

"Officiating a funeral for a Jesus-loving woman who took her own life today. Your prayers are greatly appreciated for the family."

He died a day before World Suicide Prevention Day.


Daughter of Pastor Frank Page (who served as President of the Southern Baptist Convention from 2006 to 2008) ended her life in 2009. The tragedy was kept quiet. For years, Page did not share the painful details of Melissaʼs death, fearing that some Christians might speak ill of her if they knew. Mental illness and suicide were taboo topics for many churches, seen as a kind of spiritual failure.


The son of the influential minister who wrote the mega-bestseller, The Purpose Driven Life, committed suicide. “Matthew Warren, Son of Influential Minister, Dies at 27” by Ravi Somaiya, New York Times, April 6, 2013

(In comparison neither of the daughters of the apostate author of a book titled, The Reason Driven Life—which was written in response to The Purpose Driven Life—have committed suicide. Nor did the daughters of Americaʼs Great Agnostic, Robert G. Ingersoll. Though some lovely Christians did try and spread the rumor that Ingersollʼs son had committed suicide until it was pointed out by Ingersoll that he never had a son. On the other hand, it must be admitted there have been cases of depression and suicide in the Darwin family tree, admittedly a fairly large tree by this day and age.)


Baptists in the Carolinas are soul searching after a spate of suicides and suicide attempts by pastors. In addition to the September suicide of David Treadway, two others in North Carolina attempted suicide, and three in South Carolina succeeded, all in the last four years.

Pastors: Mental Illness and Suicide — Rev. Teddy Parker Jr., 42, pastor of Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church in Macon, Georgia, discovered by his wife in the driveway of their home, dead from a self-inflicted gun-shot wound. Ed Montgomery, 49, a pastor at Full Gospel Christian Assemblies International Church, Hazel Crest, Illinois, takes his own life in front of his son, after grieving the death of his wife who had died a year earlier from a brain aneurysm. Isaac Hunter, 36, founder and pastor of Summit Church in Orlando, Florida, admits to an affair that leads to his resignation, and while suffering from a troubled marriage he ends it all by killing himself… These events, which took place within the last five weeks, show we are all susceptible to mental illness - even the preacher… Iʼve personally been in that dark place myself. By Rev. Mark. H. Creech, Christian Post Columnist


Pastor Who Confessed: There Are Times ‘I Donʼt Feel Like God Is Hearing Me’ Kills Self as Congregation, Family Wait for Him on Sunday—“What I have always advised younger men in the ministry to do is to try to find someone who can be your pastor outside your congregation… You canʼt let anyone in your church be your pastor. You are their pastor,” he warned. The competitive nature of pastors hurts healthy camaraderie in the profession. “Every pastor needs a pastor to kind of lead and guide them. But itʼs hard for us to really find that relationship because often pastors are trying to compete with or cremate you… Thatʼs a sad truth about the ministry,” agreed Land, who is also executive editor of The Christian Post. “I love pastors. They are in good grace, but most of them are pretty competitive when it comes to other pastors.”


Why do Christians Kill Themselves? According to Christian apologist, C. Michael Patton…

…For the same reasons non-Christians kill themselves. Lifeʼs circumstances fare no better for believers than for others. The divorce rate is the same, cancer rate is the same, just as many Christians find themselves out of work as non-Christians, and tragedy is no less likely to enter our lives than others. In fact, one might make the case that Christians have much more temptation to do so… We believe that we are in a hostile world that is filled with evil and evil powers… I have often wondered if suicide was not more of a temptation for Christians (in one respect) due to the fact that we know we will be out of pain and with God. In short, the circumstances that cause one to be so distraught with life that they are willing to take their own life exist just as much (if not more so) with Christians as they do with non-Christians.

Suicidal Thoughts on Suicide by C. Michael Patton, Christian apologist

(Christian apologist, C. Michael Patton, who wrote the lines above had a sister named Angie who committed suicide. After that his father started drinking heavily, a seeming death wish that he never recovered from. His father died at 66, the official cause being pneumonia. The actual cause was the type of guilt that hopes for death and does not care about physical health and refuses to check into a hospital when pneumonia is about to take his life. Michaelʼs mother continued to suffer depression after her daughterʼs (Michaelʼs sisterʼs) suicide. She cried for two years as her blood pressure rose. Finally an aneurysm ruptured and left her paralyzed; a different person. Michael and his remaining sisters have experienced significant depression since their sisterʼs suicide. Michael writes about his bouts with suicidal depression on the same blog where he defends the Gospel.)


Another Christian apologist from my own city, Greenville, SC, Johnny Price, and who has been hard at it as a local apologist in print and other media for decades admitted in 2016 in a public Facebook post:

Since I re-entered the world of Facebook back in October 2015, Iʼve deliberately not posted anything personal. This is an exception. I am mentally ill. Iʼve suffered from various emotional disorders (mostly depression) since March, 1999. Currently it manifests itself in daily bouts of angst and uncertainty — sometimes severe, occasionally nearly immobilizing — when my feelings (!) of adequacy and worth take a beating.


Still another Christian writes…

Depression is a clinically-diagnosed mental illness. Itʼs also a relentless and evil sonofabitch. Itʼs not selfish to struggle with depression. Itʼs not a lack of understanding about God and his creation. Itʼs not something to be ashamed of. Call it what you want - Godʼs grace, luck, fate - but when I was sitting on the tile in my bathroom almost 5 years ago, I saw just a small sliver of light. Just enough to make me take a breath and look at the pills in my hand. It was enough for me to drop them and watch them scatter all over the cold floor. I still donʼt know what it was that opened my eyes and mind that night, but it was enough for me to not go through with swallowing them all. But, there are so many people, like the brilliant Robin Williams this week, who arenʼt granted that little sliver of light… And thereʼs another kind of evil lurking around the halls of the depressed, and itʼs the belief that those who are stricken with depression (or any mental illness) are suffering because of their lack of faith in Jesus. “If only youʼd pray for more joy,” people say. “If only youʼd ask God to take the pain.” Or, “Is there unresolved sin in your life?” Or how about this one, “If youʼd just meditate more on Godʼs Word…” Folks, saying someone is depressed or suicidal because they arenʼt praying enough, are self-absorbed, sinful, or donʼt have a deep enough faith? Itʼs abusive. And it needs to stop. Now… Sometimes, healing happens through good doctors, counselors, practitioners, and yes, medicine. Godʼs grace can look like a sliver of light on the bathroom floor, but it can also look like a life-changing counseling session or the right combination of drugs to regulate your brain chemistry. Prayer and a deepening faith have helped many along the road to depression. But it doesnʼt always work out that way. It didnʼt for me…

Nish Weiseth, “Thoughts on depression, suicide and being a Christian,” August 12, 2014. Nish is an Evangelical Christian and author who also writes pieces for Christianity Today on her experience of being a non-Mormon (a religious minority) in Utah.


Suicide Survivors: How the Clergy Can Help or Hurt You — “I have spoken with countless suicide survivors who have been deeply hurt by comments that ministers have made… I have been to funerals for angels who died by suicide when ministers have rambled on and on about suicide being a ‘sin.’ In spite of that horrible, unforgivable ‘sin,’ they said there may still be ‘hope’ that the person who died may actually go to Heaven. Many churches in the past would not even perform a funeral for someone who died by suicide because the ‘sin’ of suicide was so grievous and unforgivable… The ‘suicide is a sin’ mentality is still extant for many.”


Suicide in Jewish Tradition

Was typically frowned upon EXCEPT for cases in which suicide was undertaken for RELIGIOUS REASONS including mass suicide, which was regarded with veneration. This veneration is understood in the context of the doctrine of Kiddush ha-shem, i.e., ‘sanctification of the divine name’ which stated that suicide could be acceptable or even glorifying to God if one thereby avoided becoming a vehicle for desecration of His name in instances of rape, slavery or forced religious conversion to a non-Jewish religion. The best known example of this is Massada but mass suicides amongst persecuted Jewish communities continued to feature in Germany, France and Britain during the Middle Ages.

Suicide in Early Christian Tradition

Martyrdom was highly regarded by the early church and the boundary between it and suicide proved to be a narrow one. Tertullian addressing Christians in prison who were awaiting martyrdom, encouraged and strengthened them by citing the example of famous suicides including Lucretia, Dido and Cleopatra. Chrysostom and Ambrose both applauded Palagia, a girl of 15 who threw herself off the roof of a house rather than be captured by Roman soldiers. In Antioch, a woman called Domnina and her two daughters drowned themselves to avoid rape, an act which, as in the case of the Jews, was venerated.

Jerome also approved of suicide for religious reasons and did not condemn austerities which undermine the constitution and which might be regarded as slow suicide. He recounts, with the greatest admiration, the life and death of a young nun named Belsilla who imposed such penalties on herself that she died. Martyrdom eventually became so popular amongst the more fervent believers such as the Donatists that it threatened the credibility and, in places, the very existence of the church. How to respond to this fervour was a difficult task for leaders of a religion founded on Jesusʼs voluntary submission to death and whose early leaders had all been slain in the course of duty.

It was Augustine who synthesized Platonic and Jewish traditions on suicide in a way that gave greater emphasis to the former. In “The City of God” he concluded that suicide was never justified, not even in the cases mentioned above in Jewish and early Christian tradition. By the 5th century suicide was regarded by the church as sinful in all circumstances.

Suicide in the Middle Ages

Apparently suicidal depression was common in the Middle Ages because numerous guides survive that were written to instruct clergy how to go about ministering to those who were suicidal. Such guides emphasized keeping the person under close observation, keeping them busy, making them comfortable with warmth, food and music, and prescribing religious exhortation, as well as citing past success stories in which suicide was averted, and offering absolution from sins. Even in cases where the suicide was successful clergy held inquests and the records reveal that in the majority of the verdicts the suicide was attributed to a disturbance of the mind rather than the soul. As in the case of Jewish tradition this enabled the dead person to receive formal rites of burial. Throughout this period we see a dissonance between what the theologians taught concerning the horrendous nature of the sin of suicide, and what the clergy actually practiced. As for what the public believed, ‘folk’ superstitions concerning suicide proved remarkably resistant to change and persisted right up until the mid-nineteenth century, such as a belief that suicides were buried at crossroads.

Suicide From the 1600ʼs to Today

In the seventeenth century, under the influence of the new spirit of inquiry, the more educated classes began to question the prevailing view that suicide was always wrong. John Donne, who was for a while himself prone to suicidal urges, wrote a treatise called Biathanatos in which he tried to prove (rather unsuccessfully as it happens) that self murder was not a sin. Interestingly, he cites as support the contemporary practice of euthanasia in which female relatives of those who were dying and for whom nothing more could be done would assist death by removing the patientʼs pillows. Donne records that this was common practice and that it was regarded as a ‘pious act,’ reflecting the fact, again, of a wide divergence between what the church taught and what society as a whole actually practiced. The term ‘suicide’ was first coined by Walter Charlton in 1651 as a bid to rid it of the criminal and sinful associations which had previously stuck to it. Although his exercise at moral sanitization failed the term itself stuck.

Laws were introduced in the early nineteenth century to punish those who attempted suicide or who assisted others to end their lives. Just as in the ancient world the upper classes (particularly those of a more artistic bent) were spared the indignity of imprisonment and for a while suicide even came to enjoy a bit of a vogue amongst the romantics. The lower classes, however, could expect a sentence of 10 days with compulsory counseling from a clergyman. Subsequently even stiffer sentences were imposed and between 1944 and 1955 13% of the 40,000 who attempted suicide were prosecuted; 308 of these were sent to jail and even in 1955 a man received a two year jail sentence, although this was subsequently reduced to a month.

Suicide only ceased to be an indictable offence in 196l and continues to be an offence for those who aid or abet, counsel or procure the suicide of another (Suicide Act 1961). The ostensible aims of such sentences were to discourage suicide as a phenomenon, although it is hard to be sure that some of the wish to punish wasnʼt due to misplaced anger towards those who were regarded as a social nuisance, a spirit which lives on in many medical wards and admissions units.

The nineteenth century was a time in which men started to collect data and to apply scientific method to the social evils of the day. Professor Olive Anderson has written extensively about suicide at this time. Her researches indicate that, despite the prohibitions, suicide rates in the UK started to climb, especially among men, from the mid-1800s onwards. Although the sociologist Emile Durkheim blamed the ‘anomie’ of modern industrial society, the process of industrialization cannot be entirely held to blame since suicide rates were highest in the old county towns. At this time suicide continued to be associated in the public eye with sin but the finding that it also showed a strong association with alcohol abuse, poor physical health and poverty sensitized the public towards a more sympathetic and understanding attitude, itself assisted by the rise of the popular novel in which the suicides of the wronged, abandoned and destitute often featured.

However, poverty was also popularly identified in many a Victorian mind as the just deserts of a life given over to sin; considerable debate thus took place over which of the poor should be seen as ‘deserving’ and which were beyond help. Under these combined influences those who saw themselves as having a responsibility to promote public order developed a variety of social and philanthropic programs to combat suicide.

Suicide is less common during wartime and times of national crisis. Conversely, suicide rates increase after a celebrity takes their life or a suicide is displayed on television.

Churches would do well to become aware of the problem of depression and its treatment since Christians are by no means immune from depression or suicidal thinking. (In fact, despair even to the point of suicidal thoughts, was something experienced by a number of figures in the Bible who are presented in a favorable light from Paul to Job, David, Jeremiah and Elijah.)

Christians would also do well to become more concerned about social justice and more vocal in their opposition to the real social evils of society. Alcoholism, marital breakdown and unemployment are far more serious issues than, say, the New Age movement or whether women should be ordained.

However, the question remains ‘Are there ever circumstances which render it legitimate to end oneʼs own life?’ The ancient Jews and early Christians clearly thought so. Nowadays we face new dilemmas concerning medicineʼs increasing ability to sustain and prolong life beyond that determined by natural processes.

Much of the above is from Russell Blackerʼs article, Suicide Down the Ages - A Judeo-Christian Perspective, on the website of The Christian Medical Fellowship (CMF).


On suicide. “Rationally Speaking” is a well known blog and podcast by an atheist philosopher. See here, here, here, for discussion of suicide, i.e. what empirical inquiry tells us about suicides (who commits them, how, what are the best strategies for prevention) and how philosophers view suicide.


What does a nihilistʼs nihilist think of suicide? Forget Camus for a sec and read these quotations from E. M. Cioran:

When people come to me saying they want to kill themselves, I tell them, “Whatʼs your rush? You can kill yourself any time you like. So calm down. Suicide is a positive act.” And they do calm down.

We dread the future only when we are not sure we can kill ourselves when we want to.

Why donʼt I kill myself? If I knew exactly what keeps me from doing so, I should have no more questions to ask myself since I should have answered them all.

Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?

It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.

The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility.

If death is as horrible as is claimed, how is it that after the passage of a certain period of time we consider happy any being, friend or enemy, who has ceased to live?

In a world without melancholy, nightingales would start burping.

What would be left of our tragedies if an insect were to present us theirs?

Life inspires more dread than death—it is life which is the great unknown. (Or as Bertrand Russell put it, “We all have a tendency to think that the world must conform to our prejudices. The opposite view involves some effort of thought, and most people would die sooner than think— in fact they do so.”)


The Lighter Side of Suicide?

Suicide is manʼs way of telling God, ‘You canʼt fire me - I quit.’—Bill Maher

Potential suicides should keep in mind that itʼs a decision they have to live with for the rest of their lives.—paraphrase of something Paul Tillich wrote

I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.—David Levithan

The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.—Friedrich Nietzsche

There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.—Tennessee Williams

The only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.—Chuck Palahniuk

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.—Charles Bukowski

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.—Mahatma Gandhi

Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.—Steven Wright

Thereʼs no reason to live, but thereʼs no reason to die, either… Life is not worth the bother of leaving it.—Jacques Rigaut

The New York Daily News suggested that my biggest war crime was not killing myself like a gentleman. Presumably Hitler was a gentleman.—Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night


If the pain was constant and unbearable, or I was struggling for every breath and unable to sleep, I might consider suicide. I donʼt think Iʼve ever been the suicidal type because I have lots of addictive interests including making music. If the question is metaphysical, then I would add that metaphysics is sometimes full of bullsh*t. The thought of everything eventually perishing can create angst but not necessarily suicidal thoughts.

Cecil Wyche [agnostic, non-Christian, though interested in religious philosophy]


Devout Mormon Threatened to Harm Himself Unless His Brothers Stopped Cursing, Leaps to Death Rather than Endure Listening to Any More Profanity—(KSL News) Police now say an argument caused a 21-year-old man to jump from a moving truck. “Tyler Poulson was riding with his brothers last night when he became offended by one of them using profanity. Poulson, who recently returned from an LDS mission, threatened to get out of the truck if he continued. One of the men, not thinking he would, told Poulson to do so. Police said the car was going about 35 miles an hour when Poulson opened the door and jumped. He was pronounced dead on scene.” Posted Nov 12th, 2005

On Recovering from Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Schizophrenia, and... Addiction to Religious Certainties

On Recovering from Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Schizophrenia

Famed Christian faith healer, Rev. A. A. Allen, died an alcoholic when his liver and/or heart finally gave out. Rev. Allen was also a yearly Bible Conference speaker at Bob Jones University and president of the Fundamental Baptist Fellowship. Allen was addicted equally to spirits from the bottle and to his fundamentalist beliefs and died an alcoholic in his hotel room hours after bragging on radio that people were lying about his addictions and that he would be appearing at an Evangelistic conference that night. In other news, Dr. Rod Bell, the outgoing president of the FBFI (Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International), also is suffering from addiction to alcohol according to Dr. John Vaughn, the new president of the FBFI.

One can only be grateful to some Christians for helping some people get hooked on Christianity rather than alcohol or drugs. In a similar fashion one can only be grateful to some Scientologists for helping some people get hooked on Scientology rather than alcohol or drugs. But even converts to Christianity and/or Scientology have gone back to their addictions. Of course neither Christianity nor Scientology publicize such failures.

And sometimes former addicts to alcohol or drugs go further still, and after adopting religious certainties in place of alcohol or drugs, learn to question even those new found certainties (without feeling the need to revert back to alcohol, drugs, or religious certainties).


Casper Rigsby from, “Diary of a Christian Schizophrenic”

I have mild schizophrenia. Itʼs easily treatable, and with medication Iʼm an average person. Iʼm not ashamed in the least to tell you this. It isnʼt something to be ashamed of because it isnʼt my fault. It wasnʼt caused by something I did or some supernatural force. But for a long time I was ashamed of it and I did think that it was my fault somehow… When the visual hallucinations began and I started catching shapes out of the corners of my eyes, I became afraid. I wasnʼt afraid that someone was messing with me, rather I was convinced that Satan had besieged me and had infected me with demons. This may seem an absolutely foolish notion to those of you not raised in an evangelical Christian home, but for those who were, you likely understand my fear all too well… When I was 16 it had gotten so bad that Iʼd began drug and alcohol abuse. I would use methamphetamine daily to get my mind going a mile a minute and this would overwhelm the voices and visions to some degree. It wouldnʼt get rid of them altogether, but it clouded things well enough for me to “function”… [Casper was arrested for possession of some meth and marijuanna and spent three years in prison, but the prison included] a good staff of general health personnel, and a mental health staff. After being isolated and given a mental health evaluation where for the first time I actually told someone what was going on, I was started on medication and counselling. For the first time since it had begun the voices and visions went away. I was able to sleep and rest. My paranoia and anxiety diminished. I didnʼt feel like I needed to escape some demon that was chasing me… Understanding is something my former religion robbed me of as a youth. It gave me an unrealistic perception of reality and caused me to blame myself for something that wasnʼt my fault. It made me feel scared and alone because I was confused and even more scared to seek out an answer. When people get upset about atheists such as myself stating without hesitation that religion causes harm, I think of the harm it caused me. I think of the fear that I felt. I think of how I considered suicide at just 14 because I just didnʼt know what to do or where to turn. Most of all I think of how I wasnʼt alone in feeling that way then and that there are many who feel that way now. If you are suffering from mental problems, be it depression, anxiety, or something worse, do not resort to prayer or religion in hopes to fix something that they quite honestly are not mentally equipped to deal with. Seek professional help. Talk to someone and please remember that you arenʼt alone and this isnʼt your fault.


David J. from, “Tell me about that hell part again”:

When I believed the Bible was infallible, it felt hopeless, and I drank to drown that out. Now that I see it has mistakes and has been severely altered by men, the constant fear and depression is gone. It is ironic to think back a few years to me quoting scripture to try and stay sober. Now that my beliefs have changed, I have absolutely no desire to drink. I still believe in God and donʼt know what to believe about Christianity. I will continue to read about both as I did about the Bible and see where the evidence takes me.


from “Scratching Walls”:

I went from one of the top students at my high school to a needle junkie to a real holy roller within the space of about a year… I think itʼs clear that a drug addict, and most especially a very young one, is not exactly what I would call a “clear-thinking individual”. When we consider the sorts of decisions this person has been making up to the present time-stealing, lying, cheating, slowly killing their bodies…it seems obvious that they are not in a correct frame of mind to make thoughtful decisions… So now this line of thought becomes personal: I was a drug addict, I needed to change my lifestyle, worldview, etc., but I needed help doing it. For me, help came in the form of a sort of religious quasi-boot camp. The name of this loveshack is Appalachian Teen Challenge (ATC). My brief testimony on their webpage (written a while back) was posted by the director, Jim Nickels. At the time I last emailed him (according to my records, summer of 04, since the testimony has this timeframe), I was already at a stage of escape from this darkness that Jim would consider heresy-to him, I was “backslidden”. However, I felt a deep discord at the idea of revealing the depth of my progress to him, (as I see it) and opted instead for a generic report about how god was really helping me and mostly focused on my goals and plans and marriage, see the letter I recently wrote him for more… One of the most interesting things about the Christian culture is their tendency to bury the wounded. What they see as “lost souls” are ripe for evangelism and discipleship, but those who “fall away”, especially those like myself, who spent quite a few years teaching/preaching the faith, are often, as the Bible instructs (Heb. 6:4-6, 1 Jn 2:19), abandoned. Besides giving up hope for a backsliderʼs salvation, there are also a number of scriptural precedents for booting people who lose faith from the fold (1 Cor. 5:1-13; 1 Tim. 1:19-20; 2 Thes. 3:6; 2 Cor. 6:14-15; Job 24:13). So, I guess I shouldnʼt be surprised at the response I receive(d) from Christian friends and family… I will write more about my deconversion, and edit this accordingly, but suffice it to say that although I am open to new evidence and arguments in favor of godʼs existence and in the religion of Christianity, I think Iʼve already heard the “best” there is to offer, and I find it, on the whole, unconvincing.


from “Fear leads to the dark side”:

I became a Christian as a result of a burnout on drugs (hash,opium) that I had at the ripe old age of 16 while living in Europe. After experiencing a great deal of paranoia and instability, I encountered a pastor of a newly developing church called International Christian Fellowship. Basically this was a spin-off of the Assemblies of God, made for the European market. Being so young and impressionable I believed all this, burned my albums (ouch!) cut my hair (Oh no Delilah!) and basically became a completely brainwashed Evangelical. We would preach to people of all nations, creeds and backgrounds through our church and I became what others considered to be the best at Christian Apologetics. It seemed as if I had an answer for every argument against Christianity at the time. When the church began to indoctrinate us further and require classes for all assistant pastors I complied and became fully immersed in it. I stopped sleeping with my girlfriend who also became a Christian (what was I thinking?), I stopped smoking (not bad I admit), and became the perfect “soldier for Christ” The church used “before and after” photos of me to show the transforming power of Jesus. Heavy rocker to Christian. Whoopee! But all was not well in paradise. As I became more and more involved in learning about the religion and being a defender of it I became aware of… [read the rest online]


Daniel M, from “Returning to Sanity” :

At 16, I had already developed pretty deep doubts about godʼs existence and attributes. When my father got cancer (a devout Xian) I lost all faith in the idea of a personal god. Unfortunately, I was also quite immature and emotionally unstable, and I started using pretty hard drugs during this time of intense confusion and pain. To get “clean,” a court and my parents decided a Xian rehab named “Teen Challenge” was the best answer for me. After 14 months there, this young, confused, hurting person came out a devout Xian again. I had stability in what I believed, and the evidence for godʼs existence was the “change” that god wrought in me. After all, I was drug free!! Nevermind that I was seriously programmed, and that during that 14 months there was absolutely no way I couldʼve gotten drugs had I wanted to. Nevermind that my problem was a mental and philosophical crisis rooted in confusion and disillusionment, and not the drugs themselves. Nevermind that deep down, I never bought into the creationism because I already knew enough about science and reason to reject a literal reading of Genesis. I was 19, and fresh out of Christian boot-camp/rehab. After slowly regressing over the period of years to a moderate Xian, I found I finally had the courage to acquire books… [read the rest online]


x-ray man from “I Tried, I Really Tried…”:

Many of my best friends also fell into serious alcohol addiction. Gary one of my oldest and dearest friends from childhood finally stopped drinking and found God. Almost over night he became a preachy born again Christian. I really wasnʼt too fond of his ways, yet he did succeed in putting the cork in the jug. I continued to drink heavily. He always said that Jesus was the way to overcome my addiction. At age 27 I was married with a small child when I finally hit a complete rock bottom. My drinking took me as low as a man could go. On a March night in 1991, I was alone in my house shaking uncontrollably in a pool of cold sweat, with the DTʼs. I had been drunk with a friend for a week straight. When the money ran out and the booze ran dry, I had the worst withdrawals any human ever had. My mind and body were in peril. I decided it was time for me to surrender to Jesus. It was my only hope. This was your typical addict finding God story in the making, and I was the main character. I called the 700 club prayer line, and got on the phone with a prayer counselor and asked Jesus to come into my life. I got down on my knees and prayed with all my heart. I wanted to be saved from the misery so bad. Well, as I was praying and pleading with God, I felt… nothing. Absolutely nothing. No spirit, no uplifting experience. No sense that everything would be OK. Not even a little twinge of evidence that God was with me. I even remember the prayer counselor getting a little short with me, like as in “Hey buddy Iʼve got other calls.” Well for the next few days I continued going through the serious withdrawals. I didnʼt sleep for two nights. It was the worst experience my body had ever endured. The religious experience I had hoped for didnʼt come close to happening. I have never drank again since that experience, but it wasnʼt because I was saved by God, it was because I never wanted to feel that way again. Many will say that it was God, but I know better. It was me finally wanting to turn my miserable life around. Years later I tried to find God again. My wife and I decided to join a local church and get the kids baptized… [read the rest online]


Derreck Bennet “Addictus: A Nonbelieverʼs Path to Recovery”

The past three years of sobriety have not been without their difficulties. Iʼve faced financial and work-related stressors, an abundance of health issues, and even the loss of my youngest brother to opiate addiction. But, through it all, Iʼve stayed the course and remained strong. Therapy, antidepressant medications, a wellspring of love and support, and my own resolve and determination have been integral to this process. AA and God have not. Now, let me preface what Iʼm about to say by acknowledging that 1) there are good values and principles at the heart of AA, and 2) there are many recovering people for whom AA is an invaluable source of support. I absolutely, positively do not begrudge anyone for whom AA is helpful, nor do I discourage anyone from participation in the group. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage the participation of anyone for whom it is indeed helpful. I donʼt need other recovering people to agree with me. I just want them to find sobriety, as I have, and Iʼll root for them however they wish to achieve it. That said, my own experience with AA has done more harm than good, in my estimation. Not merely because I disagree with its litany of references to God and prayer, but primarily because it indoctrinates one with a self-deprecating and anti-humanistic theology, endowing them with a sense of powerlessness. Taking its cues from the apostle Paul, AA essentially teaches that we are fundamentally flawed, mired in sin, and helpless short of God’s grace. This is an antiquated view that stems from the Platonic and Proto-Gnostic religious conceptions of Paulʼs own day, in which fleshly beings and the material world were regarded as vastly inferior to the spiritual realm. Consequently, here we are in the 21st century, treating a serious medical condition with superstitious ideas from antiquity. The medical community, and even those within AAʼs ranks, have recognized addiction as a disease, not a moral failing. Which begs the question: why on earth are we still taking the route of moral purification and religious conversion? There is no scientific evidence that this approach works, much less that AA is medically effective. What we need, especially for people like me, is a secular, evidence-based alternative. One that empowers those who suffer, rather than preaching powerlessness, and fosters a sense of value and self-worth, rather than dwelling on shortcomings and character defects. Granted it is important to take a good, hard look in the mirror from time to time, my sobriety is largely the result of learning to love, value, and forgive myself. And one does that by acknowledging their strengths and assets, as well as their value and worth as a human being. Not by undercutting it with self-defeating sentiments of moral failure, or spuriously seeking redemption and value through the eyes of an external beholder, but by finding love and strength within themselves. Only then can one break the chains and live freely, enslaved by neither substances nor self-deprecation. [read the rest online]


The life of the late evangelist A.A. Allen is proof that one can preach Christ and drink himself to death at the same time. His last months were living in a drunken state in a run down hotel room making audio evangelistic tapes for his radio broadcasts while in a drunken state:

On June 14, 1970, listeners in the United States, the United Kingdom, and the Philippines were hearing a recorded message from A. A. Allen on his radio program saying: “This is Brother Allen in person. Numbers of friends of mine have been inquiring about reports they have heard concerning me that are not true. People as well as some preachers from pulpits are announcing that I am dead. Do I sound like a dead man? My friends, I am not even sick! Only a moment ago I made a reservation to fly into our current campaign. Iʼll see you there and make the devil a liar.” At that moment, at the Jack Tar Hotel in San Francisco, police were removing A. A. Allenʼs body from a room strewn with pills and empty liquor bottles. The man who had once said that “the beer bottle and gin bucket” should have been on his family coat of arms was dead at 59 from what was said to be a heart attack but was in reality liver failure brought about by acute alcoholism. (p.88)

SOURCE: The Faith Healers by James Randi, section on Asa Alonzo Allen (1911-1970). Prominent, flamboyant and controversial Pentecostal “healing evangelist” of the 1940s-1960s. Allen made many outrageous, unsubstantiated claims of miracles.

Harry McCall, ex-fundamentalist seminarian, and son of an alcoholic parent, adds this

If a person can get to a place where alcohol hurts more than it helps, they can quit. Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists and any other non-“Jesus” religions can and do put depressed people on a spiritual journey and often apart from any god in the sky.

The fact is, when one is burned out by a section of their life of drugs and alcohol and their body is shutting down, what else can one do but to either change or die.

Call it “god” of self determination…both seem to work and boil down to that if help has a social support context, itʼs religion; if not, itʼs self determination.


SEE ALSO The Uniqueness of the Christian Experience (which questions such uniqueness)

Leaving the Ministry. Left the Ministry. Polls, Statistics and other Data

Ministry. Polls, Statistics and other Data

A google search for

  • “leaving the ministry” (exact match) turns up 14 million hits

  • “left the ministry” (exact match) turns up 18 million hits

Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year. (thatʼs over 20,000 last year alone).
Faces of Pastors Who Have Left “The Ministry”.

1,500 Pastors Leave the Ministry Each Month Published December 16, 2009 by Pastor Don Gray Jr.
On average 1,500 pastors walk out of the pulpit each and every month. Of those who remain, 50% are so discouraged that if they could afford to, would leave the ministry now. Depression plagues 70% of our pastors and over half of their marriages will end in divorce. (source; Maranatha Ministries Life line for Pastors)… According to the above mentioned source, 90% of the pastors surveyed stated that they were overwhelmed by the responsibilities of the position and 80% of those who had attended seminary stated that they were ill prepared for the pastorate.

20,000 Pastors Left the Ministry in 2008. Are you next? 50% of ministers just starting out this year will not last 5 years in the ministry. I can honestly tell you that in my 22 years of full time Christian service, Iʼve thought of quitting more than a dozen times. And I know that Iʼm not alone. Studies by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc. reveal that:

  • 90% feel that they are inadequately trained for the demands of church ministry.

  • 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families.

  • 70% say that they have a lower self-image now than when they first started in the ministry.

Do you feel the same way? Inadequate? Stressed? Insecure?

The #1 reason why pastors leave the ministry? Church members are not willing to go in the same direction and work towards the same goal as their pastoral leader. They are unwilling to change and refuse to follow their churchʼs leadership.

Leading a church is one of the hardest jobs in the world. For most pastors:

  • the pay is inadequate

  • the job is stressful and

  • the demands are unreasonable.

Source: 20,000 Pastors Left the Ministry in 2008! Are you next?

Book Review: Pastors in Transition: Why Clergy Leave Local Church Ministry. By Dean B. Hoge and Jacqueline E. Wenger (Eerdmans) This article appeared in The Christian Century, (December, 13, 2005, pp. 33-35.) Why do pastors leave the ministry? Several common issues emerge from the research of Dean Hoge and Jacqueline Wenger: preference for another form of ministry, the need to care for children or family, conflict in the congregation, conflict with denominational leaders, burnout or discouragement, sexual misconduct, and divorce or marital problems. Of these factors, which form the basis for the central chapters of Pastors in Transition, two are especially important: conflict and a preference for specialized ministry. A close third is the experience of burnout, discouragement, stress and overwork.
Source: Why Pastors Leave Parish Ministry

Statistics

  • 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.

  • 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastorʼs children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

  • 95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.

  • 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.

  • 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.

  • 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.

  • 80% of pastors and 84% of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged as role of pastors.

  • 90% of pastors said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be like before they entered the ministry.

  • 50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.

  • 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.

  • 70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

  • 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.

  • 40% report serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month.

  • 33% confess having involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church.

  • 50% of pastors feel so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.

  • 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid.

  • 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.

  • 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.

  • 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastorʼs ministry.

  • 80% of spouses feel the pastor is overworked.

  • 80% spouses feel left out and underappreciated by church members.

  • 80% of pastorsʼ spouses wish their spouse would choose a different profession.

  • 66% of church members expect a minister and family to live at a higher moral standard than themselves. Moral values of a Christian is no different than those who consider themselves as non-Christians. The average American will tell 23 lies a day.

  • The profession of “Pastor” is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions, just above “car salesman”.

  • 4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.

  • Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

  • Over 1,300 pastors were terminated by the local church each month, many without cause.

  • Over 3,500 people a day left the church last year.

  • Many denominations report an “empty pulpit crisis”. They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

#1 reason pastors leave the ministry — Church people are not willing to go the same direction and goal of the pastor. Pastorʼs believe God wants them to go in one direction but the people are not willing to follow or change.

Statistics provided by The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc.

“How do you know if youʼre called? Itʼs a tough question. I remember well a spiritual mentor trying to convince me not to enter the pre-seminary program in college, believing that if he could dissuade me, I would not be truly “called.” I also know of many others who have been encouraged, nudged, or even pushed into the ministry against their wishes. An acquaintance was told by family members since his earliest remembrance that he was destined for great things in the ministry, following as he would in the footsteps of his father and grandfather, both well-known preachers and authors. The poor fellow was trapped. He left the ministry a broken man only a couple of years after seminary, unable to handle the pressures in large part because he was overwhelmed by doubts about his calling.”
Source: Called to the Ministry?

Emotionally leaving the ministry
By Brother Greg
As someone who also left the ministry some 27 years ago, even after all these years, I still am haunted by my experiences with it. When I look back on how I first got wrapped up in a fundamentalist form of Christianity, it began with a religious experience I had during a weekend Christian “retreat” for high school students…

I received this email today. It is from a former pastor of 20 years who left the ministry in 2000. He is now an agnostic. I recently heard a statistic which says that 80% of those who are in seminary will no longer be in ministry within five years!